All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten Over the Loudspeaker

Today was the Grandparents breakfast at my daughter's school. As we live about 2200 miles from the nearest person that could be called a grandparent to our child, I attended the breakfast alone with her. The breakfast had an excited energy in the air with kids rushing about introducing their grandparents to their friends and teachers. We found a spot at a table in the gym and sat down only to be joined by one of my daughter's friends and his parents and Jewish grandma.

After the breakfast there was a special Valentine's program put on my the lower school kids honoring the grandparents. They made the announcement that the kids needed to line up to go on the stage and we said goodbye to our kids and pulled out our cameras.

As my daughter attends a private school, in the morning the chaplain comes over the loud speaker right after the first bell for the thought for the day taken from the Bible. The bell went off over the loudspeaker in the gym to which nobody paid much attention to as we were focused on our kids getting ready to go up on stage. Then the chaplain came on over the loudspeaker with the Biblical thought for the day. It went something like this, "....and sexual immoral sins such as adultery and fornication. Mark 5:16 (I don't actually know the verse in the Bible he was quoting)" He then went on to explain the differences between adultery and fornication between two people and how the sins of these two are like an oozing wound of pus that makes us unclean to come before God.

As the announcement went on, the room went from an excited hub bub of noise, to a deafening silence as the parents and grandparents all sat there and listed to this seemingly long announcement over the loudspeaker.

Me being probably the most mature person in the room, and not really knowing any one other than Jack's parents sitting across the table from me, tried to stifle the laughter that was coming from deep inside my being. I looked around at the shocked and horrified looks on the parents and grandparents faces all throughout the room. Everyone had the same expression of surprise on their face as the announcement went on. Then I caught the eye of Jack's mom across the table from me and that is when I lost it. My maturity completely got lost somewhere between the "likewise, fornication is adultery before marriage between two unmarried people" and "...a sin like a pus wound" and I couldn't stifle the laughter anymore. I laughed so loudly that I think the hardest of hearing grandparent could have heard it. Thankfully Jack's mom found the humor in all of this too and we had a good chuckle together.

Needless to say, my daughter did fantastic in her program singing about valentines and I learned a lot about sexual immorality. It was a very fulfilling day.