Top 8 Things For the Single Person

I sometimes think I should write a book on relationships....and what not to do. Yes, there you have it. I found this t-shirt online tonight and it prompted me to share the dating advice I have learned the hard way, to my faithful readers out there. Here goes:

1. If it doesn't work the first time, it's not going to work the second time.
2. If there are times that are bad, long, and frequent....quit.
3. It's not worth your time waiting for someone to change and become the person you want them to be. If you don't like them now....they are just going to annoy the living daylights out of you in a year.
4. Going through the "seasons of change" in a person's life, which was described in a book I read once as being one full calendar year (although I'm sure there are much more dramatic seasons of change such as Valentines versus retirement or mid-life crisis, but what do I know?), won't really do you any good if that's what the relationship is pending on. ("He was so nice at Christmasstime!" "Thanksgiving was a little sketchy, but we will work on that.")
5. If they already have a girlfriend/boyfriend....drop it like it's hot.
6. If he already has a girlfriend and she's not there, and he's there with a different girl, not the girlfriend back at home, and he asks for your number...don't give it to him. If you do give it to him without knowing that he had a girlfriend or was there with a different girl, wait until you piece it together that his girlfriend is actually a friend of yours and strike up a chat with her about the new boy you have been seeing. Awkward...for him.
6. If they continue to carry your picture in their wallet and use it to pretend that they are taken when girls start to come onto them, six months after you told them that this will never ever work...creepy. Possibly take legal action for a restraining order or suggest to them some psychological counseling. Seriously.
7. If they think that buying you a book on "Non-Violent Communication" is going to save your relationship ...it will buy you about a week, much past a week though, bail. In fact, if this book is given as a gift, take it as an offense and end it before the one week grace period.
8. If it didn't work the second time, it will get over much quicker the third time.


As I will be moving into the realm of marriage, I feel the need to pass on my knowledge. Girls always give stupid boys too many chances. Wait for the good ones.

I should work for a teen magazine.